Catholic Girl in Sin City

Is thing still on?

2010-09-16T09:33:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't blogged in a year? What?

Lots of great stuff happened and then some not-so-great things happened and then those things weren't so bad. Because it's never that bad.

So, please enjoy this song and read into it what you will in terms of my blogging future.

2009-09-16T11:02:00.000-07:00

Take this spoonful of backlash, MK*.

Locals defend "sketchy" area slammed on TV by 'The Office' star

(* Girl, you know I love and respect you. I'm just repping my city and my sweet tooth)

2009-09-13T15:46:00.000-07:00

Luv It's Custard is a Vegas staple. Nothing like a tastey treat next to barbed wire, homelessness and crippling fear.

I recommend the Tutti Fruti special minus the nuts and gunshot wound to the chest.

Mindy Kaling agrees.

Shot to the heart and you're to blame, you give Luv It's a bad name.

2009-07-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

I know you've asked yourself "Self, what is In Living Color's Tommy Davidson been doing lately?" Lord knows I have.

Apparently, lots of crunches and nothing else.

Not on my watch, biotch!

2009-07-14T17:44:00.000-07:00

I had a friend in town this weekend and I, of course, did my locals duty and brought her to the famous Welcome to Las Vegas sign.

It's kitsch. It shines like justice. It is a national historical marker.

Much to my horror, I found that it had been tagged by hooligans.

Read here.

Cry in the comment section. Or be racist and stupid in the comment section of the story. Your call.

*** Update: The sign has been restored. But the sting of the event remains. ***

Never met a Maggie I didn't like

2009-07-14T10:53:00.000-07:00

This is further proof Maggies are a formidable bunch.

(click for a larger view)

He fought the law and the law won (TWSS edition)

2009-06-24T09:11:00.000-07:00

Courtesy: Office Tally

2009-06-18T20:35:00.001-07:00

Target (hallowed be its name) just had an insane sale on DVDs.
We're talking good. $3.99 good. I went a little nuts. It was a scene.

So, I would like to take this opportunity to introduce a few new members of my DVD family.

Movie collection meet Tootsie. Tootsie meet movie collection.

Play nice with others, American Gangster. I'm watching you.

Hey you guys! Make room for The Goonies.

When there's something missing from cinemahood, who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters.

In a series of very fortune purchases, Lemony Snicket now calls my DVD collection home.

Now lets slow it down for the ladies. Really, Breakfast at Tiffany's is here to make the rest of you look classy.

The wild card. Something to shake and bake things up. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

Sadly, The Sandlot couldn't be here tonight. Some greedy little scab-eating butt sniffers cleared the shelves of that cinematic masterpiece. Next time.

Killing it

2009-06-13T11:39:00.000-07:00

The blurry ruckus you see here is me and the guitarist from The Killers. I met him at the bar last month and, although I can't confirm, I like to think I helped his game with some bimbette that night.

Met him. Hailed him. Posed for a picture. The rest is literally a blur.

mazel tov, bitches?

2009-06-13T11:12:00.000-07:00

I feel this little dude's pain.

As the great prophet Jay-Z rhymes in "Roc Boys", which is, hands down, one of my favorite songs of all time:

black bar mitzvahs
Mazel tav, it's a celebration bitches, la heim
I wish for you a hundred years of success but it's my time
Cheers, toast to crime

And just for old time's sake ... spooky scary wolfy tradition.

The post with no purpose

2009-05-28T10:51:00.000-07:00

A true friend helps create a code name for medical conditions your bud might be facing.

I guess I'm a true friend.

me: i have never nicknamed an anal fissure. first for everything
[Name redacted]: I've always told you I'd show you the world

We ruled that "Colonel Fizz" was a good fit.

Fancy a visit?

2009-05-24T14:27:00.000-07:00

Try as I might to convince the world Vegas is a normal city with a municipal government and schools and attempts at culture, it's still everything else you think. Current TV put it in ani-motion pretty well.

Watch below.

Monkey fighting?

2009-04-24T09:19:00.000-07:00

Samuel El Jackson is mad as hell and he's not gonna take it anymore.

Monkey fighting is just out of control in our friendly skies.

Below is that famous line from that famous flick we all know (but might not love) edited for your TV-viewing pleasure.

Please, indulge.

(Samuel El Jackson, tee hee. A pun)

I heart you, Earth

2009-04-22T09:33:00.000-07:00

Instead of waxing lyrical about what I will do to improve my Mother Earth today, I made a smart-ass list. Wanna hear it? Here it goes.

"You say it's your Earth Day. It's my Earth Day, too."

"(You can't deny) A Woman's Earth."

"Dear Earth, what have you done for me lately?"

"This Earth is hot, hot, hot."

"I like to Earth Day, Earth Day."

"Hey World, my love for you is sustainable."

"There is cake in the break room for Earth Day and it tastes like dirt."

"Earth, you dirty girl. Have some class. It's your day."

"God is a deejay and he is spinnin' that Earth record so hard today."

"My styrofoam cup over-flowith with love for my Earth."

"Lets get ready to Earrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrth Daaaaaaaaaaaaay."

That concludes my pointless list wasting your time. Go Green!

Here's the story of a bad blogger

2009-04-17T09:11:00.000-07:00

I'm still in Vegas. I'm not hired yet. Frustrating, yes, but I don't make the decisions, the rules or the doughnuts.

I'm the same girl as always, I just pay my student loans back now. It's like Maggie 2.0 plus a moderate-to-low interest rate.

If you want to read my random jibba jabba, follow me on Twitter (maggielillis). That's where I lurk as of late.

Here is a picture of my now three-legged god dog, Gus.

2009-03-05T08:30:00.000-08:00

Today I miss Grand Haven, Mich.

I have walked this pier more times than I could count but only jumped off it once. This town is about 45 minutes away from my hometown and I miss spontaneous drives out there for a world-famous Pronto Pup corndog consumed while watching the sunset over Lake Michigan.

Worth more than 1,000 words.

2009-03-05T08:13:00.001-08:00

Alternate captions for this magic moment in Britney Sprear's current stage show.

"A Cheetos sale?! I'm there."
"You never know when a spontaneous game of Whack-a-Mole will start."
"My umbrella is in the shop. This will do."
"Order in the court, ya'll."
"I couldn't remember if it was mallets or mullets that were big in Europe right now."
"Oops, I swatted it again."
"I got your crazy. No, I really do."
"Get this flamingo off me! Get this flamingo off me!"
"You're going to call Child Protective Services on this?!"
"What? This isn't a golf club?"
:Guys, look what I found in the loony bin!"
"Step right up! Test your strength (by listening to my music)!"

2009-02-12T17:33:00.000-08:00

In lieu of going to the gym, I'll stay reclined and blog.

I'm the best kind of comfortable right now. I'm warm, I'm satiated and my hair is swept up in a Pepples Flintstone ponytail. All I need is a puppy, a thunderstorm to keep me inside and some sort of beverage and I'd be set. A robot butler at my beck and call wouldn't hurt, either.

Well, blog, lots and little has happened since we last spoke. Here are some highlights.

1) I did pretty good in a beer pong tournament. I dressed like an iconic author.

2) I saw my dream Cirque de Soliel show with my dream date, Paige.

Turns out, all I needed was "Love."

It was outstanding in every way. I was sad to see Paige back to Michigan.

3) I went to a hardcore country bar. My friend said I looked like I was in a foreign country. I mean, I have listened to country music but I had never seen anything that intense.

I was enamored by the dancing. They just all knew what to do and kept going around and around and around and .... ACK. I was mesmerized.

4) The next night, we played bingo at one of the seedier casinos. We were two giggly girls among legions of focused players. But we adopted a mentor, Ann, who helped us keep our cards straight and bingos in a row. We could have used some good-luck trolls. Didn't bring home any cold hard cash or aging fellas. Lose, lose.

Note: The lovely visor is my editor's and rests on his desk. I felt it would be appropriate for a night of bingo and he happily let me borrow it.

5) Thanks to 32 inches of snow falling on Mt. Charleston, curiosity and resentment that I never learned the sport, I tried snowboarding.

I fell many, many times. Cursed myself many, many times. Couldn't get up many, many times. Thanked my wonderful friends for not leaving me to die many, many times.

Despite doing good things in my lesson and on the bunny hill, I got a little over-confident and paid dearly when I couldn't get off my butt on the intermediate hill.

It left me so sore, though. I felt like I had just stood there and allowed someone to smack me repeatedly with the smooth side of the board.

Verdict: Frustrating as it was, I want to go again. This time, I will know my limits and practice more on the easy hill.

6) Now for the saddest part of the post.

The only feline I have ever loved passed away Sunday. Babe, 1991-2009.

I already miss him napping on my stomach, begging for food and sauntering around the house. A big presence is missing. I have some other photos and videos of that little rascal but this will suffice.

There you go, a six-pack of updates. I wrote a lot of stories and drank a lot of pints in between but who cares about that?

Oh I wish...

2009-01-10T19:41:00.000-08:00

The Oscar Mayer Weinermobile rolled into my life last week and parked forever in my heart.

Back story: I worked at my college newspaper with a guy Derek, who is on a one-year stint behind the wheel one of the six weinermobiles, or WMBs as they say. They do promotions, pedal weiny whistles and get to drive all over select regions of the country in that trademark ride. Our mutual friend Pete flew into Vegas to hang out with Derek while they were in town and that's where our story begins.

Sunday, Jan. 4
I had hung out with Pete, Derek and his fellow "Hot Dogger" Alana a few times that weekend but had yet to meet the WMB in person. When I feasted my eyes on that 20-foot ode to Americana, I knew it would be quite the ride.

They even let me ride "shot bun."

It's a six seater with big windows, sun roof and cloud sky above. It has a killer turn radius, normal CD player and no food. That was a bit of a buzzkill.

But the magic is what happens on the outside. You can literally watch people try to compute what they are seeing when the WMB rolls by. And let me tell you, when it all connects, they lose their ever-livin' minds. Cameras are hoisted, shouts hollered and befuddled expressions are common.

I was more interested in the people who were totally unaffected by us when we were driving down the Strip. Las Vegas Boulevard is over-stimulation central, I guess.

We tried to go into the shooting range but it was closing (shoot?) as we arrived. That didn't stop the staffers to flood outside to take a look.

After dolling out some weiny whistles, we went to my favorite tacky diner, The Peppermill, which isn't in the greatest of spots on the Strip. Derek jokingly asked if we'd come out of the restaurant and find the Weinymobile on blocks. Of course not, I half-heartedly promised.

So we ate, got a little discount for bringing the wait staff weiny whistles (I swear those are like currency) and went to head out. Four people were gathered around the WMB, taking pictures and generally freaking out. They were four 20-somethings and so were we so we let them do their thing.

Until one guy tried to climb on the bun. Not OK.

Alana went complete Rambo and grabbed him by the puffy coat screaming "Get off my Weinermobile." I think he figured she was joking and just started jumping around her screaming "Weinymobile, Weinymobile, Weinymobile" and getting in her face. It was terrifying.

She pushed him off long enough for us to scramble inside and lock ourselves in. That guy started banging on the windows and yelling some more. We were safe inside the Weinermobile. I will never be able to say that again in my life.

As we drove away recounting events, Pete made the statement of the night — "There really is no authoritative way to say 'Get off my Weinermobile.'" Well put.

What was a great life experience also involved one of the spookiest moments ever, so there is that. And I didn't even have to sing the song to get my own weiny whistle.

Quote board

2009-01-08T10:11:00.000-08:00

Andrew: http://www.cutethingsfallingasleep.org/
you're welcome!
me: you totally showed that to me bef---awwwwwww
Andrew: hahaha i think it was cuteoverload.com
i havent' seen this one...
unless you have another cute dealer out there

Hope for Detroit

2009-01-08T09:40:00.000-08:00

I have fallen head over heels for this song, video and artist and his plea to return to Detroit's glory days. Now, I grew up on the other side of the state but I want Detroit to succeed just as much as any Michigander does. Heck, I sometimes tell new people I'm from two hours out of Detroit just to simplify things and avoid using the hand map.

Sam Robert's "Detroit '67"

(Sidenote: I'd like to drink with this group and then feverishly make out with the lead singer. Don't judge me)

Special thanks to Tex for showing this to me.

Quote board

2009-01-05T11:39:00.000-08:00

(This is a recent Facebook chat I had. Don't tell gchat. I feel like it's cheating.)

Maggie: would a hot dog be a sandwich?
meat and bread are united

Ross: no, a hot dog is in its own category
same with a burger

Maggie : i will argue only the corndog stands alone
hamburg/hot dog are sandwich-ed, right?

Ross: I feel very passionate about this

Maggie: they are sandwiches

Ross: no. no way. how dare you even suggest that

Maggie: i will fight you

Ross: i will fight you to the death
any honest to goodness food lover will tell you the same thing

Maggie: i'll play devil's advocate. meat is SANDWICHED in between bread
is it not?

Ross: no, it is simply placed there. it's really just resting.
it's a restwich

Maggie: i would like to market that

2009-01-03T17:31:00.000-08:00

This is Babe, lap cat to the stars. This year he will be 18 years old.

Modern day resolutions

2008-12-31T13:07:00.000-08:00

I got this from Julia Allison, who got it from the Trib. I dig.

One thing I will learn:
HOW TO DRIVE A STICK SHIFT
———————————————-

One place I will go:
SAN FRANCISCO
———————————————-

One physical habit I will break:
NOT LEAVING PIMPLES ALONE
———————————————-

One physical habit I will cultivate:
TAKING CARE OF MY SKIN
———————————————-

One mental habit I will break:
SELF DOUBT
———————————————-

One mental habit I will cultivate:
GIVING UP A LITTLE CONTROL
———————————————-

One relationship I’ll repair:
MY BROTHER (we don't fight, we just don't hang out as much as we could. he's not a bad kid)
———————————————-

One home repair I’ll finally get around to:
I RENT A ROOM RIGHT NOW, SO I'LL JUST PAY ATTENTION TO CAR REPAIRS I PUT OFF
———————————————-

One work habit I will change:
FACEBOOKING TOO MUCH
———————————————-

One thing I’ll throw out:
CAUTION TO THE WIND? (i have so little with me in this city that i can't spare much)
———————————————-

A second thing I’ll throw out:
ALL THE DEAD BODIES PILING UP
———————————————-

One thing I’ll eat more often:
NON-ROLL SUSHI
———————————————-

One thing I’ll eat less:
NACHOS
———————————————-

One thing I’ll drink more:
JUICE (orange, grape, jungle)
———————————————-

One thing I’ll drink less:
FIRE-WATER ALCOHOL (my dependence on Diet Coke goes nowhere)
———————————————-

One overdue e-mail I’ll send, or overdue phone call I’ll make:
TO MY GRANDMA (this year thinned out my supply of those)
———————————————-

One resentment I’ll get over:
NOT BEING HIRED YET
———————————————-

One person I’ll treat more respectfully:
PEOPLE ASKING FOR MONEY AT OFF RAMPS
———————————————-

One thing I’ll spend less money on:
CRAP I DON'T NEED (i'm looking at you, all accessories in my closet)
———————————————-

One other change I’ll make in my finances:
BUYING FEWER CLOTHES
———————————————-

One thing I’ll spend less time doing:
AIMLESS YOUTUBING
———————————————-

And a thing I’ll spend more time doing:
SHOWING GRATITUDE, VISITING FRIENDS ABROAD, WRITING LETTERS
———————————————-

One resolution I’ve made before but will honor this time because I really do believe that with a little effort life can be better:
TO BE MORE AWESOME
———————————————-

Milestone

2008-12-31T08:43:00.000-08:00

Today is a big day. Eight oh eight is almost over

AND ...

Catholic Girl in Sin City has reached 100 posts!!!

Much like this lady spinning 100 hula hoops at once, I have a lot of junk going on that I will fill you in on soon. In short, I'm staying in Vegas until June. Or whenever they kick me out.

Happy New Year, beautiful babies.

Quote board

2008-12-01T13:38:00.001-08:00

Pete: how big a social faux pas is it when your boss catches you sleeping?
me: hahaha
depends
Pete: gads
oh well, what's done is done

Quote board

2008-11-20T07:03:00.000-08:00

me: new passion?
J: hahah yes
me: awww
how did you get into it?
J: well I went to the craft store looking for a new hobby
and the beads just spoke to me!

2008-11-18T08:57:00.000-08:00

Five words I wish I could sneak into regular life and/or the newspaper

1) Boondoggle
2) McGillicuddy
3) Curmudgeon
4) Braggadocio
5) Wonky (not sure if this is a slur of some sort)

I really love subscribing to the Urban Dictionary and Merriam Webster words of the day. I feel like I live a richer and fuller life for it.

2008-11-13T09:01:00.000-08:00

I have been suspiciously healthy during my time in Vegas.

I can't even think of a series of sneezes that wasn't induced by a gust of dust or looking directly into the sun (not that I ever do that. *averts eyes*). The last time I coughed was probably more of a choke from Diet Coke going down the wrong pipe. And the flu? What's that?

In the real world — you know, a real climate with humidity and weather change — I can at least count on the seasonal cold. I also work in newsrooms which rival nursery schools as germ incubators. But I have been the tip top of health out here.

Something has to give.

Well, I can think of one minor thing.

The lack of humidity never really bothered me. My hair has never looked better and I appreciated not sweating through my shirt after stepping out of the house.

I didn't notice things were up until I realized I haven't been able to produce tears in a while. Nothing emotionally tragic has come up (although I would LOVE to know where I will be in the world post-Jan. 1) but I was watching a Lifetime-caliber movie the other day and I couldn't cry. I sat there telling my brain to kick itself into emotional gear and let me cry. Nothing came out. Not a single tear.

I winked. I squished my face. I tried thinking of hurt puppies and my impending student loans kicking in.

I'm a journalist. I didn't take this lying down. I just dialed up an opthamologist and had a delightful chat with a nurse in his office. Cheryl told me that the desert air dries our eyes so much that when we produce tears, the eye just soaks up the moisture on spot. Air conditioning and no humidity don't help the cause. She said a lot of people ask about this and was especially jovial while sharing the little info. She just suggested I get Visine.

Her generous sparing of time could have moved me to tears but, you know, I can't.

Maybe I'll just rent "Steel Magnolias" this weekend and cry like my entire family was eaten by a T-Rex like I usually do.

killin' it

2008-11-10T09:18:00.000-08:00

fifteen listens in and no signs of stoppin'.

eh, three fourths of the band hail from the 702 so this is an appropriate post.

Election daze

2008-11-04T11:25:00.000-08:00

Four years ago, I changed my address so I could proudly cast my vote for president. Election day was rainy. I was late for my North American literature class. My polling place was in the basement of a musty dorm. Specifics aside, I was hopeful.

Then I watched everything unfold alone in my dorm room that night. As state by state lit up with their allied "color," I turned red and then blue before going to sleep feeling kind of gray.

Four years later, I think this has been an electric election. I didn't change my address this time. Election day (so far) is sunny and 70 degrees. I don't have to be to work until 3 p.m., so I'm really only late for a shower. My polling place was my desk two weeks ago. I'm in a totally different place in my life, yet I'm still hopeful.

Here I am casting my vote last Thursday. Don't fail me now, U.S. Postal Service!!!

On a completely unrelated note, here are some electiony things I have encountered in the past few weeks.

Drag Queen with a message

Club clowns on the political prowl

As an added bonus, here is video from a rally I attended a few weeks ago. Bette Midler speaking on behalf of Barack Obama at a gay disco. Just putting a Vegas spin on politics, ya know.

2008-11-02T18:59:00.001-08:00

I thought two hefty questions today that I will pose to whoever still reads this ol' thing.

a) Does it weaken my journalism degree that I have never seen "All the President's Men" in full?

b) Do you think Laura Bush is starting to pack up the White House? (Subquestion) Do you think they have White House-issued boxes or Rubbermaid?

Happy Election Week! This could be an entirely different country in a week. Think that out.

Observation deck

2008-10-23T22:10:00.000-07:00

I would just like to point out that Suri Cruise is now rocking the Maggie Lillis look circa like 1987-1992. And, boy, she looks thrilled.

Don't fret, Suribot, you have bigger fish to fry.

ZEKE

2008-10-22T06:33:00.000-07:00

Zeke the Wonder Dog is a Michigan State legend. He also was the reason for my most stressful day at my college newsroom ever. But to honor U of M week, I give you a sort of video about this Frisbee-catching ball of fur.

Go Green! Go White!

Zeke The Wonder Dog from Anthony Siciliano on Vimeo.

(I think the video is too long and there are too many cliches but it was still cute.)

Totally looks like jealousy

2008-10-21T07:41:00.000-07:00

This Web site TOTALLY conflicts me.

I have it linked on my Google reader and I always get excited when I see new posts. Then I usually get so mad that I consider unsubscribing to it.

Want to know why?

I get so jealous that I didn't make the connection myself between two celebrity look-alikes that I want to cut that bit of genius out of my life.

This post totally makes me look like a 7-year-old defriending the neighbor girl with the Power Wheels because she had that bitchin' ride and I just had a purple bike. Only in this scenario, I can't peel out of her driveway and show off by riding with no hands on the handlebars.

Whatever, my bike never ran out of battery power and I never got grounded for plowing over my dad's foot on it.

Quote board

2008-10-20T06:50:00.001-07:00

"I'm just going to sit over here and text like a Kardashian."

- Out of the hysterical mouth of this hoe

Blerg!

2008-10-20T06:40:00.000-07:00

For the love of Liz Lemon, I just noticed something.

In the episode of 30 Rock titled "Fireworks," Tina Fey (hallowed be her name) says "There is an 80% chance in the next election that I will tell all my friends that I'm voting for Barack Obama but I will secretly vote for John McCain."

What blows my mind is the this episode aired in April 2007, which is more than a year before we knew who the presidential candidates would be narrowed to. How did they know?!

Further proof 30 Rock is genius.

Quote board

2008-10-19T11:53:00.000-07:00

"Whores are a problem!"

This was yelled at me as I scampered into local Target store one night. I was dolled up but wearing a pretty normal summer dress. The guy was in his 20s and he literally paused his cell phone conversation to yell at me.

It has been one of the highlights of my time in Vegas.

Have a great week.

Phantom Menace

2008-10-17T09:17:00.000-07:00

My cell phone is definitely my adult Linus' blanket. Aside from being, you know, a necessary and quite useful tool, my scraped lil' Chocolate is like a companion. It charges under my pillow (fueling my future brain tumor), rests on my lap at work and during car rides and is always, at most, a few feet away. When I first got my cell phone (I was 16 and dating someone the parents did not like), I instantly bemoaned the technology. I thought it was just a tether. Now I can't leave home without it, have left work to retrieve it. No lie.

The concept of "phantom vibration syndrome" isn't new nor terribly scientific. I had a crazy case of it yesterday while riding to a crime scene.

I was in the passenger seat of a photographers car, feverishly mapping the location in his GPS. As I cursed the touch screen, I felt the purse at my feet vibrate. Panic began to brew and frustration festered as reached into my purse and found I was wrong. I dropped my phone back into my purse and not even 10 seconds later, I heard the chirp of a new text. Reach in, dooped again. It wasn't the photog's phone, I knew that for sure. This was my mind playing tricks on me.

On the return trip, I thought I felt my phone vibrating on my thigh. I did a little silent scream to myself and reached into my phone. No effing activity.

I think I need to take a phone hiatus. A whole day away from my little buddy that has so much influence on my life, it is messing with my head. How liberating this will be! Sweet freedom. A brief respite for me to live life again.

Yeah, it won't happen.

LOL, HAHA, HEHE, ETC

2008-10-05T20:47:00.000-07:00

I can just hear Oprah saying "I cried my eyelashes off." I laughed my ass off.

She's probably going to have me killed for this.

I believe in this

2008-10-03T14:24:00.001-07:00

I'm going to start watching this on Sundays instead of going to church. God put this in my life for a reason.

There are no words

2008-10-02T10:08:00.000-07:00

New pet peeve

2008-10-02T09:46:00.000-07:00

I take issue with the over-used phrase, "I can't wait."

Thing is, world, you have to wait. Did the Back to the Future movies teach you nothing? You can't speed up time. Please find another phrase.

On a related note, I will be doing my celebratory spins of victory and joy in my living room in ONE WEEK.

Exclamation points for everyone.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And you know what? I can wait to visit home. Because I have to.

Dancing water is magic

2008-10-02T09:33:00.001-07:00

I still have a deep love affair with the Bellagio fountains. I know it's just water spraying into the air but, good golly, I love it.

But their song selection is getting a little outdated. They play mostly classical and Vegas-specific tunes but I feel like my wide-ranging music tastes could help them here.

What people may like to hear synchronized with magic dancing water:

1)" Salisbury Hill" by Peter Gabriel
2) "Shining Star" by Earth, Wind and Fire
3) "It's a beautiful life" by Ace of Base
4) "Your love is lifting me higher" by Jackie Wilson
5) "In the air tonight" by Phil Collins
6) "What a wonderful world" by Louis Armstrong
7) "Good day, sunshine" by The Beatles
8) "Vertigo" by U2
9) "Free fallin'" by Tom Petty

What I think would be kind of entertaining to hear synchronized with magic dancing water:

"Give up the funk" by Parliment Funkadelic
"Cars that go boom" by L'Trimm
"Puttin' on the Ritz" by Taco
The MSU Fight Song (for obvious reasons)
"Party Hard" by Andrew WK(with lyrics!!! this will spook every fanny-packin' NaNa on vacation)
"Ghost ride the Whip" by Mistah Fab (this would make Las Vegas Boulevard more of a nightmare and I would love it)

(Side note: I have seen three couples get engaged in front of the fountains. My song selections would make that special moment even better, right?! I'm thinking it would get its own page in the family scrapbook)

The mind of a SPAM writer

2008-10-02T09:11:00.000-07:00

Isn't the trickery of SPAM mail kind of brilliant?

I mean, the authors, much like that hard-working scribe above, of the hundreds of SPAM e-mails that land in my work inbox everyday really get me thinking.

It makes me second guess everything. They have gotten really clever about sending them from senders with common names and even go so far as using Gmail accounts. Maybe I DO need to help them. Maybe I DO need a better sex life. Maybe I DO need a better SPAM filter.

Imagine the brainstorming sessions they have. A couple of guys sitting around a computer, none of them speak Engrish very well but all think they are very savvy. They are all smoking and tossing out subjects that will get people's attention.

"Sex!"
"Free money!"
"Breakthrough diabetic formulas!"
"Web sites!"
"Pensises!"
"Pleas from Nigerian presidents in money trouble!"

I received one this morning from "Natasha." Her subject line was "I fell bored" and she claimed to be a lonely woman who "live in Russia and search for love." That's convincing.

I would really love to meet these SPAM generator and immediately delete them.

2008-09-23T10:17:00.000-07:00

We finally made it through the woods of 100-degree face melting days. This almost perfect forecast indicates smooth sailing from here on out.

Wax on, wax awesome.

2008-09-21T10:57:00.000-07:00

From a visit last month to Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum on the Strip. Unexpectedly fun.

There is no shame in that I spent my Saturday night editing on iMovie.

TGIF

2008-09-19T14:54:00.000-07:00

Awesome 50s-style cover of Oasis' Wonderwall. I did a little swivel chair dancing to it.

Choice blog

2008-09-19T07:55:00.001-07:00

Many of you probably already know about the blog in which the writer chronicles her journey of getting an abortion. This has been quite the summer read for me.

The writer is 23 and is candid about her pregnancy, the backward abortion industry and the isolation she's faced exercising her right to choose..

So many people were alarmed by her blogging about such a sensitive topic but I find myself not only learning about the taboo topic but wanting to offer a hug and handshake to this brave woman.

I'm not using this blog as a political avenue or anything. I just urge you to read her posts and think about what we do as a society. She highlights how so many freedoms are coveted until someone tries to use it and the solutions to our problems are demanded but never brought to fruition. She's witty and conflicted and deeply honest and I respect the hell out of her.

I wonder how long she'll keep this blog up and I guess I don't care. It's just refreshing to see something brave and original hit my Google Reader each day.

Flight is booked!

2008-09-19T07:55:00.000-07:00

Red eye flight. Layover in Minneapolis. Excitement at 30,000 feet.

I'll be home the second weekend in October and I'm beaming. I keep looking at the itinerary like a mother does to her newborn baby.

I kind of don't have any warmer clothes here so if I look like that fine dame on the plane home, it'll show this place has changed me.

i can hear you now

2008-09-17T13:25:00.000-07:00

just when i was about to go around the newsroom switching everyone's ringtones to something quiet and not annoying, i heard the most delightful noise.

my editor has peter gabriel's "solisbury hill" as his ringtone. it is hands down my favorite song, a mix CD staple and a happily purchased ringtone in my phone. all is right in the world.

(because you care, my current ringtone is seu jorge's "carolina" but there are days that i switch it to the spinner's "rubberband man.")

Dolla Dolla Bills Ya'll

2008-09-15T19:20:00.000-07:00

As we skid into another Great Depression, I am comforted by one thought. Good thing I ain't got no money for the Feds to take.

I wish I was rolling in Schrute bucks. (The Office season premiere is so close!) That would make my life so much easier.

It is a financial madhouse out there yet everyone in our generation is wigging out about new Facebook. Who am I kidding? I'm coveting my link to the old version while I can.

While on the topic of money, I finally saw Ocean's 11. Don't judge. I loved it and I fell BACK in love with the Bellagio after being in a temporary fight with it. I did take visitors there like 3 times last week. Still magical.

Super Sweet

2008-09-15T08:48:00.000-07:00

If only her parents ate their young, THIS wouldn't have happened.

She will be so ashamed of this when she gets to college, tries to look for a job or has to contribute anything more than a sound bite to society. Her family looked so normal, too. I gave up on that show years ago, so I can't remember if I saw the original airing. But I saw her exiled and I wanted to box her ears.

I will admit that how she said "No Mama" made me almost pee my pants. My mother will be here in a week (so excited, just can't hide it) and I'm using that on her at some point.

My mind has been read

2008-09-14T12:55:00.001-07:00

I think this very thought too often.

Homecoming

2008-09-14T12:26:00.000-07:00

I'm visiting home in a month. I need it so bad.

I need to hang out with people with the last names Lillis, O'Rourke and Schoen or I just don't know what I'll do. The freak factor of this city limits what "going crazy" would be, so I'm at a loss.

I may be visiting East Lansing for a night but for now I just can't wait to fall asleep in my bedroom with light green walls with pink flowers and wake up to my mom cooking weekend breakfast while my dad reads the paper and my brother cackles to Comedy Central.

I'll be there for a wedding but I'm going to jam-pack as many visits as I can. Maggie will be back in the mitten this October. Watch out.

You've got to wake up pretty early in the morning to beat me to a story

2008-09-14T11:57:00.000-07:00

About three weeks ago, the city editor asked if I would be willing to adopt a new 6 a.m. to 3 p.m. schedule so we could have someone scour night news and be available to post things to the Web on pace with our competitors. Sans editor, they were essentially handing Nevada’s largest newspaper over to their 22-year-old intern for three hours in the morning. Was this trust or a bitch move to the eager young person who has no family or otherwise consuming personal circumstances? That is a loaded question for which I’m still looking for an answer.

It took like two days for the shock to wear off. Now I’m to accentuating the positives of this new arrangement. So, in no particular order, here is why having a bedtime, too much responsibility and a screwed up eating schedule doesn’t entirely suck.

1. Sunrises over the mountains
2. Nobody is on the road when I drive in
3. I get the best parking spot
4. It’s very cool and calm in the morning
5. All of my east coast friends are on gchat anyway
6. I watch all of the morning news programs and music videos while sitting at my editor’s desk
7. I get the newsroom to myself (Risky business)
8. I get bigger, better stories for the day because I see them first
9. I technically get to leave at 3 p.m. but it never happens
10. I’m ROLLING in overtime hours. I hate forfeiting my stories and just choose to stay.
11. I’ve seen the Burger King people manually switch the menu from late night to breakfast menu
12. No traffic on the way home
13. I can get to the gym and grocery store when they're dead
14. Sympathy from my coworkers
15. One of the best resume builders I could ever ask for

I was tempted to steal a baby dolphin

2008-09-13T12:51:00.000-07:00

I'm about to hit you with some cute overload.

FLIPPERS UP

Watch the video attached to the story, too.

Getting back into the groove

2008-09-08T07:23:00.000-07:00

It's only 7:30 a.m. on this beautiful Monday morning and I've listened to THIS like 10 times.

May it be so noted

2008-09-04T14:38:00.000-07:00

I'm considering donating my body to science after I die.

I want to know how I lived so long (or at all) on snack foods and occasional exercise. Plus, the Splenda tumor I will have from all this soda will be one for the record books.

Take today for instance. I started the day with a bowl of Cheerios. Great, grand.

The rest of the day was a slippery slope of crackers, Fig Newtons and Doritos all washed down with my life fuel, Diet Coke. I blame our cafeteria for not ordering any oranges or bananas this week. I have expressed my rage. to them.

Tonight doesn't fare well, either. I have a four and a half hour drive ahead and I can't really teeter a salad on my lap as I dream my way into California.

So if I die, figure out how I lived at all.

Pretty boy burglary

2008-09-03T17:07:00.000-07:00

In my latest bought of celebrity crime stories, my hometown boy, boxer Floyd Mayweather had $7 million worth of jewelry stolen from his Las Vegas home.

The highlight of the story wasn't that I could be lead writer, no. It came when we watched a recent episode of MTV's Cribs where he showcased his lavish home and bragged about his baubles. But as he lead the crew through the front door, he stopped and said "You have to lock the house."

Somebody didn't follow their own advice, now did they?

To quote my coworker, "What kind of woman hoards $7 million in jewelry in her Summerlin home? Floyd Mayweather, that's who."

You heard it here first

2008-09-01T21:15:00.000-07:00

Prediction: Everyone will go as The Joker a la The Dark Knight for Halloween this year.

I, however, will be in Vegas for this hallowed holiday and I fear how "slutty (blank) " is interpreted here. I bet going as a hooker or pimp will be popular and lucrative.

What did I miss?

2008-08-30T20:27:00.000-07:00

Did Julia Roberts give birth (rebirth?) to Macaulay Culkin?

Now this is just eerie

2008-08-29T06:38:00.000-07:00

I kid you not, I interviewed a man named David Willis yesterday. My dad's birth name is David Lillis ...

That's just eerie.

2008-08-28T20:35:00.000-07:00

Emily: "were in a Cadillac Escalade returning from the Spearmint Rhino strip club about 6:30 a.m. when they began fighting" - did you ever see yourself writing this sentence sometime in your career when you started college?

Some epic posts are ahead. This is a teaser.

The real man can't even e-mail

2008-08-26T09:32:00.000-07:00

I just got Spam from a Harry Willis. My dad's name is Harry Lillis..

Luckily, he didn't offer to enlarge anything.

2008-08-25T12:03:00.000-07:00

I would follow him anywhere.

The man defined Twitterspeak.

There is my Galifianakis fawning for the month.

Everyone with a digital camera is an "artist"

2008-08-24T12:15:00.000-07:00

I noticed an unintentional trend in my "photography."

This is how much I miss Scrabulous

2008-08-23T21:39:00.000-07:00

I only beat Alexa a.k.a. Lexicon once in Facebook's now-extinct Scrabulous game and I had to take a picture to prove it. That application was always a triple word score away from a lawsuit, though. Good times.

Scrabulous 2008-2008

Quote board

2008-08-21T22:35:00.000-07:00

Me: Well, I'm staying so that means I can keep working on this killer "tan" I have going.
Coworker: You're getting more freckles at least.
Me: Exactly. If only they'd team up. You know, I used to really hate them. My mom would console me and try to tell me that they were kisses from the angels while I slept.
Coworker: Did you ever think how creepy that is?
Me: I am now.
Coworker: "Mom, I have freckles in places other than my face..."

The newest in making up for bad life decisions

2008-08-21T11:34:00.000-07:00

Remember when Listerine strips hit the scene and nobody knew what to do?

We all asked ourselves questions like "Is it paper? Is it a mint? Will it get me out of a DUI?" while tonging the roof our mouths like dogs licking peanut butter. It seemed like a forward step in the fresh breath direction.

Then science took an even bigger step forward.

Genius?

Take note of the "Where to Buy" tab. My hometown is #8. I'm counting this as the eighth most hungover city in the nation. Las Vegas wallows near the bottom.

2008-08-19T21:35:00.000-07:00

I admit I can be pretty scatterbrained sometimes. I just blame it all on my freak streak of blond hair hair stylists admire so much.

But one thing I am truly diligent about it knowing where my keys are at all times. The thought of locking them in my car puts me into a panic.

You can see where this is going.

I locked my keys in the car the other day.

I was chatting it up with my dad and Harry was mistaking a muffin for a cupcake or a "you know, one of those biscuit things" to which I was sarcastically correcting him while en route to an assignment at a Russian restaurant. Well, the joke was on me because I had remembered to lock the doors but not to remove the GD keys from the ignition.

Dad was still on the line and somehow calmed me by reminding me this is why we have AAA. Oh, yeah.

When all was said, put on hold and transfered 14 times, AAA dispatched someone to help but not for another hour. The restaurant I was destined for was closed and the only other things in the strip mall were a dingy casino thingy (no surprise), a floral shop where the only attendant didn't speak English (no surprise) and a Chinese market where 15 people loitered and only one spoke English (still not surprised). Where would I beat the heat?

The Chinese market won. I wandered the aisles and was reminded again that I need to learn to:

a) habla a new language soon
b) not be such a cultural moron

Don't worry I had my camera. By the end of the visit, I had no appetite or shame.

Pasteurized packaged cheddar cheese product: Does this have to exist?

Shrimp paste: What would you even use this with?

Cockles: Just curious if they are ball sized.

If it's in this aisle, I probably can't pronounce or prepare it. That's embarrassing.

Reverse car theft: Still trying to figure out if I was supposed to tip him or something.

Lucky strike

2008-08-18T22:27:00.000-07:00

This blog will live!!! (Add your own maniacal laughter here)

My internship was extended last week. Now that most of the details are ironed out, I can say I will be living in Sin until the end of the year.

I will just have to pretend palm trees go through color change, imported apple cider is tastey and MSU tailgating isn't happening without me.

A picture is worth a thousand captions

2008-08-15T10:37:00.000-07:00

"Can't you see my veins are exploding?"
"I do not have baby teeth!"
"Sparta! What is your profession?!"(Funnier because he went to U of M)
"I said no mushrooms!"
"Everybody come see how good I look!"
"My skeletal system is escaping!"
"My Speedo is chaffing!"
"I'm tired of shaving my ENTIRE body."
"Carbs! Carbs! Carbs!"
"I am mad as a wet hen!"
"I make you seem lazy!" (It's so true)
"My name is the only thing people will remember about the 2008 Summer Olympics!" (Even truer)
"Fuck this! I'm becoming a florist!"
"My daughter is in pain, can't you understand that! GIVE MY DAUGHTER THE SHOT!"
"Michael hate being three feet taller than Chinese hosts."
"My fuel is pure gold."
"I call shotgun!"
"Give me an M!"
"Look at my innie, ya'll!"
"Who peed in the pool?!"
"Where is my jacket?!"
"My body absorbed my shirt!"
"'My Boys' is a rerun?!"
"Cannonball!"
"Who wants pizza?!"

Seriously, I could do this for days.

2008-08-14T09:44:00.000-07:00

Got a haircut. Needed it. I was stuck between a mullet and the flowy locks of that middle Jonas brother that I have a jailbaity crush on.

2008-08-12T22:55:00.000-07:00

I was not impressed by my first desert flash flood.

As the intern, I am the paper's official unofficial weather girl. So when it rained .16 inches last week, everyone lost their ever-living minds. Insert some spooky skies, bathwater rain and minor flash flooding and this girl got three hours of overtime and a section front story. Oh and caked-on desert clay and littered rocks made driving a dream for about a day.

Try harder next time, Momma Nature. (I'll probably eat these words later)

Still obsessed with the Bellagio fountains

2008-08-12T22:51:00.000-07:00

Never gets old.

2008-08-12T22:42:00.000-07:00

I apologize for having fewer posts about Sin City and too many posts about the Catholic girl (and her quirky observations).

Here is a post to even the score.

It took me a while to notice there aren't any squirrels, chipmunks, birds (not of the pigeon variety, that is), etc. How did I notice this? Well, I was driving down the highway when I thought to myself, 'Boy, these roads are so clean.' No roadkill.

Obviously, it's the desert. Rodent-like creatures couldn't survive. I was told there would be scorpions but I have yet to see them. I just have to settle for these strange little bugs. Anyone know what they are?

Monday, Monday. Can't trust that day.

2008-08-12T17:39:00.000-07:00

Mondays are troubling for me.

The conflict doesn't start until a few hours after work. I hunker down and watch the new episodes of my two reality TV obsessions — Intervention on A&E and Jon&Kate Plus 8 on TLC. Trouble is they both air at the same time, giving my remote trigger finger and my emotions a work out. They're subject matters could not be further apart from each other.One represents something benevolent and heart warming. The other highlights an active dirge lamenting a walking corpse whose addiction fuels and destroys them and their families.

I'm an addict myself. I can't bear to miss either show.

Last night was extremely difficult to handle. Just when I think Intervention couldn't reach new heights, you meet someone like Allison. She is addicted to huffing computer cleaner. Everyone together now, "Oh my God."

Ain't Eight Great?

2008-08-08T12:47:00.000-07:00

Happy Eight Eight Oh Eight, everyone!

Seeing as how everyone else in the world is arranging their C-sections or wedding dates to fall on this numerology wonder day, I will bring to a totally pointless list of my top eights of the day.

Eight things I have eaten today:
1. cantaloupe
2. toast with peanut butter
3. Cheez-Its
4. Yogart covered raisins
5. A Wendy's cheeseburger
6. A Wendy's dollar menu side of chicken nuggets
7. A frosty
8. An antacid

Eight ways I've avoided work
1. Recaps like this (Seriously, how did Twitch lose?)
2. Gchat
3. Cleaning out my cubicle
4. Gchat
5. Hyping the Olympics' opening ceremonies
6. Gchat
7. Recovering from my food coma
8. Gchat

Eight things I'm looking forward to right now
1. MSU Football
2. Visitors (Fact: Las Vegas is the easiest place to persuade friends to visit)
3. The Olympics
4. Every one of the movies on my Netflix queue right now
5. Possibly visiting Utah
6. Reading all of the 8/8/'08 related stories today and tomorrow
7. Tackling my ever-growing list of places to visit here
8. Project Runway (because all of my other summer shows are done)

Sidenote: We are having "stormy" whether as of late (a post about baby's first flash flood is to follow) but when I left the house today, it was 88 degrees.

My spirit died a little bit when I discovered the card game Crazy Eights might only be a Midwest thing.

And the best bumper sticker I've seen in a while award goes to . . .

2008-08-07T20:55:00.001-07:00

The Price of a Valley View

2008-08-05T23:43:00.000-07:00

In my quest for a decent shot of the city lights, I pretty much trespassed near the mountains and was stopped by a waiting lackey from a nearby construction site. I probably should be dead right now.

Damn dam wind

2008-08-05T22:55:00.001-07:00

Listen closely for a "that's what she said" opportunity and see if you can count the visors and fannypacks on the tourists.

Shake it

2008-08-05T13:38:00.000-07:00

I figured this had to exist.

GO ETCH YOURSELF

Like sands through the hourglass...

2008-08-04T17:32:00.000-07:00

Sorry, Facebook, there is a new time waster in town.

THIS IS SAND

Warning: Very addictive.

Bring Your Camera to Work Day

2008-08-02T23:40:00.000-07:00

Didn't I look like Pam Beesley the other day? I also had a pretty good hair day. Day maker.

I'm so vain, I probably think this blog is about me.

Sweatin' at the drive-in

2008-08-02T23:37:00.000-07:00

When you drive the same route almost everyday, it’s very easy to turn on your blinders and just let repetition co-pilot. My 15-minute cruise down Rancho Drive is filled with views of desert lots, gas stations and the occasional casino not to mention Sonic, McDonalds, Fatburger, Taco Bell and every other artery enemy you can think of.
Well, I got a rare chance to be a passenger the other day and found a few new wonders on that same stretch of road.
My biggest discovery was the Las Vegas 6 Drive-In Theater.

Six movie screens that play first-run movies on a dirt lot with simple signs and an old-fashioned concessions stand. Sweet Americana.
I went out with my roommate last night (and did a weird soul shake with Floyd Mayweather as a sign of solidarity for our mutual home city) so I thought I’d check out the drive-in tonight.
Just cold Diet Coke box of Cheez-Its and me.
I bought my ticket ($6.25?! What a steal!) to Wall-E (don’t judge) and parked.
At this point, I had a whole dilemma on my hands. Windows up, windows down? Engine on, engine off? Recline, don’t recline? I was kind of a mess.
Ultimately, I adjusted my seat and turned the engine off. I didn’t have the heart to waste gas during a movie about humans rendering the planet unsustainable and useless with their gluttonous ways.
I put the windows down for “cross ventilation” knowing full well the 98-degree temperatures, at night mind you, weren’t going to provide an ideal breeze.
All six movies started at about the same time, just about when I started to sweat like it was going out of style. I really hate back of the knee sweat. I just want to throw that out there.
I really fought peeking around to see snippets of Dark Knight, Stepbrothers, X-Files and the Mummy (Well, maybe not that) but I could only hear my movie tuned into my radio.
My Diet Coke lost its chill quickly and was consumed in record time. I set my aim on the case of water and half a PowerAde I had tossed in the backseat earlier. Both were tepid (the worse) but my thirst didn’t mind.
I really did enjoy the movie, but it would have been better in an enclosed theater. The animation used a lot of darker colors that got cancelled out by the cloudy night sky.
But the plot was cute and hearing little kids giggle from their miniature folding chairs raised the roof on the cute factory.
When it was over, I raced to crank the air conditioner and get home. I guzzled water, fruit juice and an entire glass of milk (it just felt right) and then more water when I got home.
I’ll definitely go to the drive-in again. But this time, I’m going to sit in a kiddy pool of water fanning myself within arms length of a fully stocked minifridge of cold beverages.
See, I am figuring this climate out.

Newsroom ruckus

2008-07-31T15:23:00.000-07:00

A devious coworker and I just changed an ace reporter's byline to "Pickles Haynes" today. If gone unseen, our stunt could make it to the front page of the paper attached to a heart-warming tale of a newly adopted 15-year-old who was rendered paralyzed when her crack-addict mother's client stabbed her five years ago.

Man, I love pranks. To boot, I'm dressed like Pam Beesley today.

Superhero discovery

2008-07-30T22:33:00.000-07:00

My knowledge of science fiction is remedial at best. I would be entertained at something like Comic Con, an international festival going on this week, but I would be lost in translation while chatting it up with a wheezing pizza-face dork from Iowa.

But I made the most comic-minded realization today.

I am currently living in Clark County. I grew up in Kent County.

Put those together and you get Clark Kent (a.k.a. Superman).

Put that character in his day environment and what do you get?

A journalist.

FATE.

Au revoir, Apt. A6

2008-07-30T22:17:00.000-07:00

The door closes on a major part of my college days.

Today is the last day of my two-year lease on my apartment in East Lansing. I said my tearful goodbyes in May as my impatient dad hollered from outside, but my heart still kind of aches today.

That apartment had a lot of flaws (mid-lease change in management and name, sloppy paint job, awful location, deplorable parking situation, ghastly black trim throughout) but the good times outweigh it all.

I had breakdowns and break-ups within those walls.

I had more closets than a budding shopaholic should.

I entertained many guests and made a sweet little sanctuary for myself.

I stressed about a lot of stuff there (mostly how to pay for that haven and how to sublease it when my life plans got in the way).

And when things finally went my way, I skipped through the halls and did victory spins in the living room.

I had the world's best roommate, who made our routine 'roommate dinners' some of my most cherished memories and who would play cards with me, in the dark, long after the power came back on.

And, when my summer subleaser abandoned stuff, she made the best out of the situation.

To borrow a phrase from another 90s icon, it's so hard ... to say goodbye ... to yesterday .... oooooooooooooo.

Michigan, you fail again!

2008-07-30T16:15:00.000-07:00

At the height of today's productivity, my coworkers and I played with Google Earth for about an hour. The saddest part?You get a clearer picture of Area 51 than my parents' house in Grand Rapids. I am fairly positive the latter exists. I mean, I have at least 20 pairs of shoes waiting for me there.

Validation

2008-07-29T15:35:00.000-07:00

In my opinion, these women can do no wrong. Yesterday, I made sure to tell them. I plainly told them, via e-mail, that I loved them to Della Reece's pieces and to keep up the good work.

Guess what, guess what, guess what!!!

They responded!!!

Subject line: Re: You've got feedback

Message: Okay, that made us laugh out loud!!!!!
Della Reece's pieces!!!! too awesome.

You rock,
angela & frances

I'm putting this on my bucket list just so I can check it off. Don't worry, I offered to be their token white girl in their budding entourage.

Next up, win the affection of this formidable force/somewhat kindred spirit. I read THIS and I want to sing THIS.

And her label in my google reader is "The Messiah." The woman has no filter and I friggin' love it.

Kisses!

2008-07-22T22:31:00.000-07:00

Ever have a day that isn't necessarily good or bad, but one that makes you think too deeply about your life? The kind of day that, despite having copious blessings, you find yourself in a blue funk, state of grey or black cloud?

I'm in that color palette right now. I can't even really point a brush as to why.

I know I just need to refocus myself. The big picture is great but today I just kept looking at the imperfect, petty details.

The character in the book I am reading decided to seek the help of a life coach for her wayward spirit. That sounds good but I think I have a better solution.

You know at the end of episodes of Run's House when Rev. Run blackberrys out words of wisdom while soaking in the tub? He doles out the best advice to an undisclosed list of recipients. The man is not only hilarious and wise but he also stands for many of the same things I do — service, gratitude and family.

I realized I need to get on his mailing list. I would have a lot fewer days moping around like a guy-linered Eeyore swaying at a Bright Eyes concert if Rev. Run's sage advice just landed in my inbox each day.

DOUBLE tourist of the week

2008-07-20T23:59:00.001-07:00

The Hoover Dam was more than a marvel of engineering and hydroelectricity. Much. More.

Well, we now know Big Bird's mother.

My ultra chic cousin (and number one blog commenter) working it on the Hoover Dam runway.

Out, damn secret

2008-07-17T15:23:00.000-07:00

I unapologetically love THIS SITE and THIS SITE.

Thoughts for Thursday

2008-07-16T22:49:00.000-07:00

I had a deep episode of highway hypnosis today that lead to some very random realizations.

1. I have only seen one female sushi chef in my life.
2. If they bring "Supermarket Sweep" back to reality TV, I want to be on it.
3. Somebody actually had to trademark the name for Tator Tots. (I later found out Taco Bell tried to make 'Mexi-Nuggets' work for their hash brown delights)
4. High school would have been a totally different time for me if Facebook, cell phones and gossip blogs were a part of my life.
5. Catching the first five minutes of Live with Regis and Kelly can be a day maker.
6. Hearing Billy Joel performed with Tony Bennett, John Mellencamp, Don Henley and (gasp, hold my heart, fall to pieces) John Mayer last night nearing killed me. The icing on this jealousy-soaked cake? He definitely played "Scenes from an Italian restaurant," which I have been obsessed with for the past month. YouTube better not fail me on this.
7. Radio overplays both of those lollipop -related songs. I used to love both and now they just suck.
8. Knowing Project Runway is back and the silvery smooth voice of Tim Gunn will fill my Wednesday nights makes up for it all.

Mindfreak

2008-07-13T19:50:00.001-07:00

Met Criss Angel. Didn't have the heart to tell him I love the magic of Gob Bluth from Arrested Development.

2008-07-11T14:02:00.000-07:00

"Make it rain!!!"

This was blurted across the newsroom by my somewhat misguided, weather story-loving editor in regards to the actual thunderstorms looming in our forecast.

I can only imagine my face looked like this.

They're from Barcelona and I am a fan

2008-07-10T19:28:00.000-07:00

By now, much of the world knows I'm a sucker for any song with a horns section, na-na's or clapping and singing in unison..

Finally, I've found a song that blends all my musical loves in a nice pop -song smoothie served by Sweden's answer to Earth, Wind and Fire. I kind of want to be in the band. I mean, there are 29 members, what is one more?

Crazy bones

2008-07-08T10:02:00.000-07:00

In it's purest form, my "craft" is to get information out to the masses. But I often forget that people actually read the words that are coming out of my ... head. I got a 20-minute reminder of this today when this loony toon dialed the number listed in my tagline. The woman's sobriety was questionable and her mental state fell somewhere between nutty and totally bananas. The resulting conversation was disoriented from the lonely lady's end and utterly hilarious from mine.

Here is a random sampling of what she had to tell me:

"I said 'I may not be sharp, but I'm not goddamn dead!"

"I kicked my son out because he was living like an Oliver Stone."

"I used to say 'Before I croak, I want a goddamn pink cell phone!'"

"My son taught Oprah as an NBC internist."

"He made me steal all kinds of rocks from The Mirage. I'm tired of stealing goddamn rocks!"

" … and then 7/11 happened and things changed …"

"My son told me the sea turtles saved his life!"

"I kicked him out because he told me to quit smoking."

"I wear glitter in my hair because it's goddamn falling out."

"He tried albacore tuna for the first time. The first time!"

"I go buy cheap bras but they're sharp!"

"He drove me nuts with that goddamn boutique."

"I may be 65 and disfigured, but …"

I may have an active imagination but there is no way I could have made any of this up.

2008-07-06T21:28:00.000-07:00

Actress Shannon Elizabeth had the pleasure of meeting me this weekend.

By meeting, I mean I was bold enough to ask her for a photo when she was ushered past me. I am no longer ashamed by how pale I am because temperatures hover around 110 degrees and I fear the sun. She was quite tan and nice. But an awkward moment found us (more so than when she disrobed in "American Pie" as I watched it with my parents 10 years ago) because I didn't what proper left arm placement was. My moment of "rubbing elbows" was more like "don't let your elbow touch Nadia's." Naturally I just panicked and made a tense fist at my side.

Later on, I Googled the hell out of her. Here are some things you may not know about my new BFF Shan:

- She is 35
- Her real name is Shannon Elizabeth Fadal
- She is really good at poker
- She was once married to another one of my celebrity sightings, Joseph Reitman
- She guest starred on the fan-favorite 1990s sitcom "Step by Step" and, although I don't know what her role was, she probably was the female Cody Lambert