Target (hallowed be its name) just had an insane sale on DVDs.
We're talking good. $3.99 good. I went a little nuts. It was a scene.

So, I would like to take this opportunity to introduce a few new members of my DVD family.



Movie collection meet Tootsie. Tootsie meet movie collection.










Play nice with others, American Gangster. I'm watching you.










Hey you guys! Make room for The Goonies.










When there's something missing from cinemahood, who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters.







In a series of very fortune purchases, Lemony Snicket now calls my DVD collection home.







Now lets slow it down for the ladies. Really, Breakfast at Tiffany's is here to make the rest of you look classy.










The wild card. Something to shake and bake things up. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.





Sadly, The Sandlot couldn't be here tonight. Some greedy little scab-eating butt sniffers cleared the shelves of that cinematic masterpiece. Next time.

Killing it

The blurry ruckus you see here is me and the guitarist from The Killers. I met him at the bar last month and, although I can't confirm, I like to think I helped his game with some bimbette that night.

Met him. Hailed him. Posed for a picture. The rest is literally a blur.

mazel tov, bitches?

I feel this little dude's pain.



As the great prophet Jay-Z rhymes in "Roc Boys", which is, hands down, one of my favorite songs of all time:

black bar mitzvahs
Mazel tav, it's a celebration bitches, la heim
I wish for you a hundred years of success but it's my time
Cheers, toast to crime

And just for old time's sake ... spooky scary wolfy tradition.

The post with no purpose

A true friend helps create a code name for medical conditions your bud might be facing.

I guess I'm a true friend.

me: i have never nicknamed an anal fissure. first for everything
[Name redacted]: I've always told you I'd show you the world

We ruled that "Colonel Fizz" was a good fit.

Fancy a visit?

Try as I might to convince the world Vegas is a normal city with a municipal government and schools and attempts at culture, it's still everything else you think. Current TV put it in ani-motion pretty well.

Watch below.

Monkey fighting?

Samuel El Jackson is mad as hell and he's not gonna take it anymore.

Monkey fighting is just out of control in our friendly skies.

Below is that famous line from that famous flick we all know (but might not love) edited for your TV-viewing pleasure.

Please, indulge.



(Samuel El Jackson, tee hee. A pun)

I heart you, Earth

Instead of waxing lyrical about what I will do to improve my Mother Earth today, I made a smart-ass list. Wanna hear it? Here it goes.

"You say it's your Earth Day. It's my Earth Day, too."

"(You can't deny) A Woman's Earth."

"Dear Earth, what have you done for me lately?"

"This Earth is hot, hot, hot."

"I like to Earth Day, Earth Day."

"Hey World, my love for you is sustainable."

"There is cake in the break room for Earth Day and it tastes like dirt."

"Earth, you dirty girl. Have some class. It's your day."

"God is a deejay and he is spinnin' that Earth record so hard today."

"My styrofoam cup over-flowith with love for my Earth."

"Lets get ready to Earrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrth Daaaaaaaaaaaaay."

That concludes my pointless list wasting your time. Go Green!