Thoughts for Thursday

I had a deep episode of highway hypnosis today that lead to some very random realizations.

1. I have only seen one female sushi chef in my life.
2. If they bring "Supermarket Sweep" back to reality TV, I want to be on it.
3. Somebody actually had to trademark the name for Tator Tots. (I later found out Taco Bell tried to make 'Mexi-Nuggets' work for their hash brown delights)
4. High school would have been a totally different time for me if Facebook, cell phones and gossip blogs were a part of my life.
5. Catching the first five minutes of Live with Regis and Kelly can be a day maker.
6. Hearing Billy Joel performed with Tony Bennett, John Mellencamp, Don Henley and (gasp, hold my heart, fall to pieces) John Mayer last night nearing killed me. The icing on this jealousy-soaked cake? He definitely played "Scenes from an Italian restaurant," which I have been obsessed with for the past month. YouTube better not fail me on this.
7. Radio overplays both of those lollipop -related songs. I used to love both and now they just suck.
8. Knowing Project Runway is back and the silvery smooth voice of Tim Gunn will fill my Wednesday nights makes up for it all.

Mindfreak

Met Criss Angel. Didn't have the heart to tell him I love the magic of Gob Bluth from Arrested Development.

"Make it rain!!!"

This was blurted across the newsroom by my somewhat misguided, weather story-loving editor in regards to the actual thunderstorms looming in our forecast.

I can only imagine my face looked like this.

They're from Barcelona and I am a fan

By now, much of the world knows I'm a sucker for any song with a horns section, na-na's or clapping and singing in unison..

Finally, I've found a song that blends all my musical loves in a nice pop -song smoothie served by Sweden's answer to Earth, Wind and Fire. I kind of want to be in the band. I mean, there are 29 members, what is one more?

Crazy bones

In it's purest form, my "craft" is to get information out to the masses. But I often forget that people actually read the words that are coming out of my ... head. I got a 20-minute reminder of this today when this loony toon dialed the number listed in my tagline. The woman's sobriety was questionable and her mental state fell somewhere between nutty and totally bananas. The resulting conversation was disoriented from the lonely lady's end and utterly hilarious from mine.

Here is a random sampling of what she had to tell me:

"I said 'I may not be sharp, but I'm not goddamn dead!"

"I kicked my son out because he was living like an Oliver Stone."

"I used to say 'Before I croak, I want a goddamn pink cell phone!'"

"My son taught Oprah as an NBC internist."

"He made me steal all kinds of rocks from The Mirage. I'm tired of stealing goddamn rocks!"

" … and then 7/11 happened and things changed …"

"My son told me the sea turtles saved his life!"

"I kicked him out because he told me to quit smoking."

"I wear glitter in my hair because it's goddamn falling out."

"He tried albacore tuna for the first time. The first time!"

"I go buy cheap bras but they're sharp!"

"He drove me nuts with that goddamn boutique."

"I may be 65 and disfigured, but …"

I may have an active imagination but there is no way I could have made any of this up.

Actress Shannon Elizabeth had the pleasure of meeting me this weekend.

By meeting, I mean I was bold enough to ask her for a photo when she was ushered past me. I am no longer ashamed by how pale I am because temperatures hover around 110 degrees and I fear the sun. She was quite tan and nice. But an awkward moment found us (more so than when she disrobed in "American Pie" as I watched it with my parents 10 years ago) because I didn't what proper left arm placement was. My moment of "rubbing elbows" was more like "don't let your elbow touch Nadia's." Naturally I just panicked and made a tense fist at my side.

Later on, I Googled the hell out of her. Here are some things you may not know about my new BFF Shan:

- She is 35
- Her real name is Shannon Elizabeth Fadal
- She is really good at poker
- She was once married to another one of my celebrity sightings, Joseph Reitman
- She guest starred on the fan-favorite 1990s sitcom "Step by Step" and, although I don't know what her role was, she probably was the female Cody Lambert

unlucky in luck

Good timing earned me a free Diet Coke as I waited for the vending machine stockers to load rows of life fuel. yesterday

I shared my joy on our way to lunch (Capriottis, my favorite new deli) to which my coworker said "Wow, it's just your lucky day."

Naturally, I responded, "Yeah, I should go buy a lottery ticket" and was amazed when she explained that Nevada doesn't have a lottery because of the gaming revenue from the casinos. Couple that with the lack of a state tax and legalized prostitution and I am still struggling to figure this state out. I'll get back to you on my first 110 degree day, which will be this weekend, and when I witness the wonder of my first flash flood.

More baffling, though, was when I returned to the same vending machine today only to find it was broken and I had to drink Dr. Pepper. There you go.