Newsroom ruckus

A devious coworker and I just changed an ace reporter's byline to "Pickles Haynes" today. If gone unseen, our stunt could make it to the front page of the paper attached to a heart-warming tale of a newly adopted 15-year-old who was rendered paralyzed when her crack-addict mother's client stabbed her five years ago.

Man, I love pranks. To boot, I'm dressed like Pam Beesley today.

Superhero discovery

My knowledge of science fiction is remedial at best. I would be entertained at something like Comic Con, an international festival going on this week, but I would be lost in translation while chatting it up with a wheezing pizza-face dork from Iowa.

But I made the most comic-minded realization today.

I am currently living in Clark County. I grew up in Kent County.

Put those together and you get Clark Kent (a.k.a. Superman).

Put that character in his day environment and what do you get?

A journalist.

FATE.

Au revoir, Apt. A6

The door closes on a major part of my college days.

Today is the last day of my two-year lease on my apartment in East Lansing. I said my tearful goodbyes in May as my impatient dad hollered from outside, but my heart still kind of aches today.

That apartment had a lot of flaws (mid-lease change in management and name, sloppy paint job, awful location, deplorable parking situation, ghastly black trim throughout) but the good times outweigh it all.

I had breakdowns and break-ups within those walls.

I had more closets than a budding shopaholic should.

I entertained many guests and made a sweet little sanctuary for myself.

I stressed about a lot of stuff there (mostly how to pay for that haven and how to sublease it when my life plans got in the way).

And when things finally went my way, I skipped through the halls and did victory spins in the living room.

I had the world's best roommate, who made our routine 'roommate dinners' some of my most cherished memories and who would play cards with me, in the dark, long after the power came back on.

And, when my summer subleaser abandoned stuff, she made the best out of the situation.



To borrow a phrase from another 90s icon, it's so hard ... to say goodbye ... to yesterday .... oooooooooooooo.

Michigan, you fail again!

At the height of today's productivity, my coworkers and I played with Google Earth for about an hour. The saddest part?You get a clearer picture of Area 51 than my parents' house in Grand Rapids. I am fairly positive the latter exists. I mean, I have at least 20 pairs of shoes waiting for me there.

Validation

In my opinion, these women can do no wrong. Yesterday, I made sure to tell them. I plainly told them, via e-mail, that I loved them to Della Reece's pieces and to keep up the good work.

Guess what, guess what, guess what!!!

They responded!!!

Subject line: Re: You've got feedback

Message: Okay, that made us laugh out loud!!!!!
Della Reece's pieces!!!! too awesome.

You rock,
angela & frances


I'm putting this on my bucket list just so I can check it off. Don't worry, I offered to be their token white girl in their budding entourage.

Next up, win the affection of this formidable force/somewhat kindred spirit. I read THIS and I want to sing THIS.

And her label in my google reader is "The Messiah." The woman has no filter and I friggin' love it.

Kisses!

Ever have a day that isn't necessarily good or bad, but one that makes you think too deeply about your life? The kind of day that, despite having copious blessings, you find yourself in a blue funk, state of grey or black cloud?

I'm in that color palette right now. I can't even really point a brush as to why.

I know I just need to refocus myself. The big picture is great but today I just kept looking at the imperfect, petty details.

The character in the book I am reading decided to seek the help of a life coach for her wayward spirit. That sounds good but I think I have a better solution.

You know at the end of episodes of Run's House when Rev. Run blackberrys out words of wisdom while soaking in the tub? He doles out the best advice to an undisclosed list of recipients. The man is not only hilarious and wise but he also stands for many of the same things I do — service, gratitude and family.

I realized I need to get on his mailing list. I would have a lot fewer days moping around like a guy-linered Eeyore swaying at a Bright Eyes concert if Rev. Run's sage advice just landed in my inbox each day.

DOUBLE tourist of the week

The Hoover Dam was more than a marvel of engineering and hydroelectricity. Much. More.




Well, we now know Big Bird's mother.



My ultra chic cousin (and number one blog commenter) working it on the Hoover Dam runway.

Out, damn secret

I unapologetically love THIS SITE and THIS SITE.

Thoughts for Thursday

I had a deep episode of highway hypnosis today that lead to some very random realizations.

1. I have only seen one female sushi chef in my life.
2. If they bring "Supermarket Sweep" back to reality TV, I want to be on it.
3. Somebody actually had to trademark the name for Tator Tots. (I later found out Taco Bell tried to make 'Mexi-Nuggets' work for their hash brown delights)
4. High school would have been a totally different time for me if Facebook, cell phones and gossip blogs were a part of my life.
5. Catching the first five minutes of Live with Regis and Kelly can be a day maker.
6. Hearing Billy Joel performed with Tony Bennett, John Mellencamp, Don Henley and (gasp, hold my heart, fall to pieces) John Mayer last night nearing killed me. The icing on this jealousy-soaked cake? He definitely played "Scenes from an Italian restaurant," which I have been obsessed with for the past month. YouTube better not fail me on this.
7. Radio overplays both of those lollipop -related songs. I used to love both and now they just suck.
8. Knowing Project Runway is back and the silvery smooth voice of Tim Gunn will fill my Wednesday nights makes up for it all.

Mindfreak

Met Criss Angel. Didn't have the heart to tell him I love the magic of Gob Bluth from Arrested Development.

"Make it rain!!!"

This was blurted across the newsroom by my somewhat misguided, weather story-loving editor in regards to the actual thunderstorms looming in our forecast.

I can only imagine my face looked like this.

They're from Barcelona and I am a fan

By now, much of the world knows I'm a sucker for any song with a horns section, na-na's or clapping and singing in unison..

Finally, I've found a song that blends all my musical loves in a nice pop -song smoothie served by Sweden's answer to Earth, Wind and Fire. I kind of want to be in the band. I mean, there are 29 members, what is one more?

Crazy bones

In it's purest form, my "craft" is to get information out to the masses. But I often forget that people actually read the words that are coming out of my ... head. I got a 20-minute reminder of this today when this loony toon dialed the number listed in my tagline. The woman's sobriety was questionable and her mental state fell somewhere between nutty and totally bananas. The resulting conversation was disoriented from the lonely lady's end and utterly hilarious from mine.

Here is a random sampling of what she had to tell me:

"I said 'I may not be sharp, but I'm not goddamn dead!"

"I kicked my son out because he was living like an Oliver Stone."

"I used to say 'Before I croak, I want a goddamn pink cell phone!'"

"My son taught Oprah as an NBC internist."

"He made me steal all kinds of rocks from The Mirage. I'm tired of stealing goddamn rocks!"

" … and then 7/11 happened and things changed …"

"My son told me the sea turtles saved his life!"

"I kicked him out because he told me to quit smoking."

"I wear glitter in my hair because it's goddamn falling out."

"He tried albacore tuna for the first time. The first time!"

"I go buy cheap bras but they're sharp!"

"He drove me nuts with that goddamn boutique."

"I may be 65 and disfigured, but …"

I may have an active imagination but there is no way I could have made any of this up.

Actress Shannon Elizabeth had the pleasure of meeting me this weekend.

By meeting, I mean I was bold enough to ask her for a photo when she was ushered past me. I am no longer ashamed by how pale I am because temperatures hover around 110 degrees and I fear the sun. She was quite tan and nice. But an awkward moment found us (more so than when she disrobed in "American Pie" as I watched it with my parents 10 years ago) because I didn't what proper left arm placement was. My moment of "rubbing elbows" was more like "don't let your elbow touch Nadia's." Naturally I just panicked and made a tense fist at my side.

Later on, I Googled the hell out of her. Here are some things you may not know about my new BFF Shan:

- She is 35
- Her real name is Shannon Elizabeth Fadal
- She is really good at poker
- She was once married to another one of my celebrity sightings, Joseph Reitman
- She guest starred on the fan-favorite 1990s sitcom "Step by Step" and, although I don't know what her role was, she probably was the female Cody Lambert

unlucky in luck

Good timing earned me a free Diet Coke as I waited for the vending machine stockers to load rows of life fuel. yesterday

I shared my joy on our way to lunch (Capriottis, my favorite new deli) to which my coworker said "Wow, it's just your lucky day."

Naturally, I responded, "Yeah, I should go buy a lottery ticket" and was amazed when she explained that Nevada doesn't have a lottery because of the gaming revenue from the casinos. Couple that with the lack of a state tax and legalized prostitution and I am still struggling to figure this state out. I'll get back to you on my first 110 degree day, which will be this weekend, and when I witness the wonder of my first flash flood.

More baffling, though, was when I returned to the same vending machine today only to find it was broken and I had to drink Dr. Pepper. There you go.